


Healing Heart

by LocalJesterSpinel



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Adorable, Angst, Bad Puns, Fluff, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Moving On, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Reflection, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-10-20 00:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20666327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LocalJesterSpinel/pseuds/LocalJesterSpinel
Summary: Just a series of shorts, following Spinel after going with the Diamonds. The road to recovery is a long one, but she's willing to try if only for the sweet smile of a boy named Steven.Shorts may or may not be connected, and requests are allowed!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not really sure where these stories will go, but I hope this lil first chapter is alright! I'm trying to take the story slow for now and figure out the whole timeline of events that would seem to work.

Grass was soft.

It was soft, and a bit prickly in a way that tickled her hands as she sprawled across the ground.

The breeze kissed her face and she was contented with the gentle sound of chimes ringing from the little beach house not far away.  
The sun was early to rise, just as she. There was another reason to adore the planet.

The colors.

They changed and swirled into something beautiful at every turn of the day. Right now, it was a painting of orange and pink, fading into a pale yellow that left her breathless and starry eyed as she stared out over the cliffside.

The cliff.

At first being there was a sore reminder to Spinel, only bringing guilt-ridden tears to her eyes as it only set as a warning of her past deeds. The injector's destruction had long since been erased, and more flowers than ever bloomed across the bright fields covering the beach side. Her first visit to Earth had the gem terrified that poison would still be gushing from this hill and spilling over the town like a river, but to her surprise, everything seemed good as new.

The town, Beach City as she's learned, was as joyful and boisterous as ever. After yet another end-of-the-world scare, the citizens only ever seemed to get stronger. They would play and laugh and talk while going about their usual days, and the afternoons were the most fun as she'd explore.

But right now, in the early morning hours before anyone stirred, Spinel felt a moment of peace. It was a time to think and reflect for her. She could easily do this at Homeworld of course, but Spinel found the hilltop to be her favorite "thinking space". The gems had found her more often than not sitting atop alone when the stars were at their highest, and when the night kissed the morning specks of light.

At first the quiet was horrifying to Spinel. Many times being here only led to breakdowns with tears bubbling up and being ripped from her tired eyes. But every day seemed just a tad easier as she let herself think and breathe. The silence didn't mean loneliness, or abandonment, but resolution.

That wasn't to say some days weren't worse than others. Spinel took months to even lay a glance towards Earth again. She had been plenty content for that time playing games with the diamonds and going through every prank in the book with the Pearls, who proved lovely indeed. They were probably around page 2 of the prank book. Only about 7,832 left to go.

Homeworld was fun. All sorts of gems, reflecting every color Earth's sky produced and more, all cheerily enjoying their new freedom. Games and entertainment around every corner, and life sprouting up in the darkest alleys. The old ways of Homeworld was eagerly being forgotten for instead of a new sense of belonging for all, and the gems absolutely adored the new ruling of being as unique as they wanted and following their own goals.

Everyone was happy. Everyone was together.

It struck her with a pang of loneliness on occasion. She was paranoid most of the time, afraid her new-found friends would leave her. Get tired of the same toy that already showed cracks of broken misery.

_Forget._  
_They would forget about her and move on to some new gem who showed more promise, more happiness, more fun, more-_____

_ _ _ _A deep breath. Spinel had her eyes shut tight and attempted to relax her body even further into the grass. They wouldn't._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The Diamonds never had much of an idea of what really happened. Before a couple of months ago, at least. They had found her in the midst of a breakdown when everything spilled out like milk by the gallon (Spinel discovered very recently that she adored strawberry milk). Their surprise was evident and filled the gem to the brim with shame, yet the diamonds remained to sooth her._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _As much as Spinel reminded them of their own little diamond, now thousands of years gone, they still saw the friendly jester as who she was. A lonely gem, a forgetmenot on the verge of snapping and wilting without the most caring of hands._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And care they did. Them and the Pearls were there to hush her fears for that day, promising she was not an object to be thrown away. Promising their new friendship and love for her._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Blue, Yellow, and Pink Pearl had grown especially close to the little jokester. When the diamonds were busy making treaties and peace among their colonies, the Pearls were all there to keep Spinel company. Each of them took to her almost immediately, even Yellow before she'd ever admit it. While their senses of humor all varied in a way Spinel was quick to learn they all enjoyed catching up on latest Homeworld trivials and planning new pranks to play on their previous leaders._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And, a routine that became more and more common was following Spinel up to the top of the palace. Amongst the clammer and noise of the gems below them they sat under the brightly shining stars. Even more were visible than on Earth and each glowing in a way that captured their gems. Pink Pearl especially adored it and the two made it almost a daily occurance._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Still, Spinel felt an odd tug when her thoughts drifted to Earth. Their sandy beaches with waves crashing amidst a soothing hum of water, the delightful smells of fresh food being prepared at the local restaurants, and the whistle of the wind crinkling passed the autumn trees in the forest._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Yes, Spinel missed it dearly. So her first trip was one of trepidation mixed with hopeful glee._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Really, she was nervous as ever setting foot on Beach City. She spent that visit alone, keeping her presence hidden as she quietly explored on her own. No, she wasn't ready to face anyone yet. How could she be? Frankly the gem had a stinging anxiety that she would be attacked on-site if anyone saw her._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _However, with one came more visits. Her trips becoming longer and her discoveries expanding at every turn. Then she had been found. Garnet, then Steven, then the other gems and soon everyone knew that their local Spinel was hanging around and soaking up every experience._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Of course both parties were jumpy around the other, but then the weariness faded to a simple joy whenever she was seen. The gems all grew to enjoy her presence and Spinel was sure to plan as many jokes and tricks as she could when they met._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _So things were peaceful. A melody wormed it's way through her lips as she hummed to herself. It was a little song Mr. UmGreg had taught her one day as they sat by his van watching the stars. That night was nice. She could almost feel her fingers brushing against the old strings of his worn guitar as they sang together._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _This morning was a time to reflect, it really was. Not to cry or to scream at the expanse of color above her. Not this time. Spinel only wanted to revel in what she had and what she was experiencing now._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _There was no roots to hold her fixed to the ground now. There was no chilling silence that echoed with Pink's laughter as she drifted away. She was no longer as tethered as before, and Spinel could just simply enjoy being surrounded by nature by her own merit. She could be in the calm and quiet on her own terms and know the Crystal Gems and Diamonds and Pearls would all be around when she was done._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Earth was nice, Spinel thought as she grazed a gloved hand over a flower petal by her side. It was a daffodil, proud and healthy. Her magenta eyes softened and the corners of her mouth twitched up in a gentle smile._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _As much as Spinel had been repulsed by flowers after the game had ended (did it ever really begin?) she didn't have it in herself to hate them. Nature was always a part of her and Earth was teeming with a variety of petals and colors. Just like gems._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _So, Homeworld and Earth were both special to her. Plain and simple._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She almost didn't notice the quiet steps of flip flops against the grass and her head perked up to see familiar tufts of curly brown hair._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Steven stood by her, a knowing smile on his chubby face as he held his hands in his jacket pockets._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Hey, got room for a friend?" He asked her and Spinel couldn't help her grin._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Always. I was feeling a little daisy anyways," she glanced at the daisies around the clifftop as well and Steven chuckled. He sat down by her and Spinel brought her body up, shoulders loose and relaxed as they both looked towards the rising sun._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It was a comfortable silence and her eyes shimmered a bit that for once, silence could be nice._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Steven was the first to speak as he gave her a sideways glance. "Whatcha been doing? You're getting popular you know, a few gems have come by already asking where you are."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Spinel's eyes widened as she looked to the boy. "Oh really? Can't go a whole day without my blooming puns. Must be a real cliffhanger." As she said that, the gem lightly swung her legs off the edge of the hill, giggling to herself._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You know it!" Steven laughed as well. "And I guess I can't either. Woke up just to find where you ran off to." He fiddled with his fingers as he spoke and his modesty never ceased to encapture Spinel. The statement warmed her gem as it glistened in the morning hues of the sky._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Shucks.." she nervously toyed with one of her pigtails. "You're too nice Steven. I dunno how you do it, just forgiving every gem who tries to do what I did."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Steven placed a hand to her shoulder and smiled in earnest. "Because you tried. I saw you wanted to change. That was all I needed- I mean my whole musical number kind of said as much."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Now it was Spinel's turn to chuckle at the little quip. She relished the affectionate gesture and leaned into his hand. "You're a real odd one, you know? I dunno if I'll ever understand you but I might just be the weird one instead."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Hey," Steven raised a knowing brow. "If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _This made her hum in thought. "I never have tried a "hot dog" before. You guys don't actually eat dogs do you?" She sent him a queasy look and Steven pulled his hand back to let out an amused chortle._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You'll see! Why don't we go grab some? Hot dogs for breakfast sounds pretty good!" The invitation was of nothing but pure interest and love from the boy. Steven loved everyone, even Spinel. That was an idea she still had to come to understand._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _But, he made her want to try._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Doggone it!" Spinel snapped her fingers comedically. "You really know how to get my attention." She smiled brightly then. Excitement for trying yet another of Earth's favorites was definitely a pleasing thought._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Steven stood then, holding his hand out to her. "I really know my friends." Was all he said. The wind rustled passed them both and the idle chatter of the town residents could be very faintly heard. The day was starting._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It would be a new day of play. Of learning. Of changing._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And as she reached out to take his outstretched hand, Spinel knew she would love every minute of it._ _ _ _


	2. Soap Box Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spinel and Steven have the idea of hosting a talent show at Little Homeworld for both gems and humans alike. They get a little too eager however and make a few mistakes. But luckily, a friend comes along to help them get the ball rolling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I was planning for it to come sooner but I got a little caught up in some personal matters and work. This chapter will probably be followed up next update, so stay tuned for more fun!

"A talent show?" Pearl was taken aback by the idea and only raised a delicate brow at the two beaming kids staring up at her with starry eyes.

"Yeah! Spinel came up with this great idea where all the gems and humans perform and get to show how special and unique we all are!" Steven's words flew from his mouth a mile a minute and he looked ready to fly out of their kitchen right then to tell everyone.

Spinel only held a modest smile on her face, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "Awe gee Steven, it wasn't all me. You're the one who showed me that show thing will all the people dancin'!"

Steven laughed and nodded. "That was a circus Spinel! And it was still your idea. I'm sure everyone in Beach City would love it!"

Pearl only smiled as the two of them brainstormed ideas with mirrored eagerness. She had to admit the idea was a good one, and would likely be a hit. Steven was energetic in the mornings, sure, but it was only 7 am and he was ready to wake the world up!

She glanced out the windows as the morning sunlight spilled into the room and her gem shimmered as she stroked her chin. "Well, I suppose it could work. In fact, the gems at Little Homeworld would be delighted! They're all very talented in fact."

"Yeah!" Steven leapt for joy. Honestly, the talent show wasn't even the root source of his excitement. It was the fact him and Spinel were here, together, making plans for a brighter future. Their messy beginning was in the past now, and Steven couldn't be happier to have his new friend by his side.

And Spinel felt the same, if not evident by the giggles that erupted from her as she hopped from foot to foot, little squeakes echoing her enthusiasm.

"We're gonna have to let everyone know," Steven tapped his chin and squinted. "But where's it gonna be?"

Spinel blew a raspberry and waved her hand. "Isn't it obvious? How about Little Homeworld! The warp pad is right there so anyone can see the show anytime."

Pearl waved a finger and nodded her agreement. "And it's perfect for getting humans more comfortable around a gem setting as well! This could work," she couldn't help the blush on her cheeks as she smiled at them. Nothing pleased her more than knowing Steven and the others were happy, and for a moment it brought her back to the boy's childhood.

He would always run around with the rising sun, tugging at the gems and begging them to take him wherever his little heart desired. To play games, get food, see people; all of it fascinated his wide eyes. After hitting his teen years, especially more recently, a lot of his naive joy had faded to a more bittersweet outlook. With bags under his eyes from work and lack of sleep, to how quickly he'd turn down certain invitations to go out in favor of fixing some problem or other, Steven was becoming more and more an adult.

But then, then Spinel arrived. After her departure to Homeworld, Steven was even more driven to help fix up the city. It took all their efforts to get the boy to rest at a proper hour and let some fun into his life and for a bit things seemed to worsen.

When Spinel returned with jokes at the ready and a squeak in her step, his mood drastically improved. They planned constant pranks and Steven took it upon himself to introduce Spinel to all his friends. At first Pearl was very hesitant around Spinel- who wouldn't be after the injector incident?

But the Diamonds adored her and praised how well behaved she had been. Amethyst and Peridot loved being around her especially when pranks were involved, and Garnet waved her worries off with a simple smile and glint of her visor.

So Pearl eased up and found that the little gem was indeed trying her best. And now those efforts resulted in what could be a fantastic thing, helping Beach City and gem-kind grow closer than ever before.

"Oh, this is wonderful!" Pearl clapped. "We could work on getting some posters up and let Homeworld know as well. Steven, Spinel, I know you two are the best at party planning. Could I leave that to you?" Steven flashed a grin and Spinel saluted.

"Steven and Spinel are at your service! Let's go draw some ideas!" Spinel grabbed for Steven's hand and the boy let himself get tugged along for the door.

"Not without some thinking food. And you know what that means-"

The two of them cheered as the screen door was thrown open. "Donuts!"

And like that, they were gone. Pearl couldn't help her chuckle as she watched them leave. Who knew Pink's old playmate could be such a good thing for Steven?

Their donut run had gone well, and the two pink-clad gems were happily munching on the bag of pastries. Of course, the pink frosted donuts with heart sprinkles were a popular favorite between them both.

Spinel cast her friend a sideways glance, a smirk playing at her lips. "Donut be discouraged, I think these pastries are just lovely! Wouldn't you agree, oh Steven?"

Steven snickered and gave her a mock bow, his voice reflecting a British accent. "Oh I do say Spinel! You really do have a charming way to display the scrumptious qualities of these donuts!"

And then the two broke out in laughter, hunched over as a grinning mess. They were stood outside the shop by now and several citizens were up and about by then, sending them looks every once in a while. Spinel tried to push away the self-conscious feeling of being watched and instead hummed as she looked around the streets.

"Where do ya think would be a good place ta' make the announcement?" She asked. Steven scratched at his head and paused.

"Right here in the center would be good! But if only we had something to get more attention, like a soap box..."

Spinel perked up then, pigtails ruffled up as well as she snapped. "Just leave it to me!"

Her gem glowed a bright pink then and suddenly she had a soap box on the ground just like that. How and where she got these things were a mystery. She stopped right by it and gave jazz-hands, smile wide. "Ta-daaa!"

Steven nearly dropped his donuts as he gasped. "Spinel, you're amazing! Wait, why do you have a soap box?"

Spinel shrugged. "For soap boxy things of course!"

"Fair enough," Steven nodded and walked over to inspect the stand. "Who's gonna do it? I bet you could get everyone's attention with a megaphone or something!"

Spinel blushed and looked around. It wasn't terribly busy yet, but she was still a little nervous. "Are ya sure? You're Steven Universe, I figure everyone would wanna hear from you." The concern didn't go passed Steven and he offered a comforting hand to her shoulder.

"Don't worry! You're the perfect gem for the job Spinel! I'll just be here as your emotional support Steven." And then he flashed her his Steven-y smile that sent shivers through her gem. Gosh, was she lucky to have a friend like him.

So, the smaller gem hopped up onto the box and took a deep breath. She could do this. Yeah, just have all the eyes on her and talk about the show. It would go swell, wouldn't it?

Before she let her worries get the best of her, Spinel held out her hand and let it wrap into a spiral. It was similar to the horn she used with her injector and she blew into it, eyes shut tight. A high trumpet sound echoed down the streets and a few of the people stopped what they were doing to look at them. Steven waved.

Spinel opened up her eyes and cleared her throat before speaking into her hand.

"Me and Steven have an announcement!" Her voice boomed and some of the small crowd winced.

She felt her cheeks darken and she looked towards her friend for encouragement and Steven offered a thumbs up. She bit at her lip before continuing.

"A show will be held at Little Homeworld! It's, uh. It's a talent show! And you're all invited. To show your talents! Uhm..." she trailed off and was discouraged seeing a couple people yawn, and some others on their phones. Some already continued their way down the street.

Her pigtails drooped and Spinel's voice only became smaller. "There's gonna be lights and music, and- and anyone can perform!"

No one showed any sort of interest in her words. Ouch.

Her shoulders fell as the last few people who had stood in front of them left, only the small Onion child remaining. His unblinking eyes remained on her for a moment and she felt a shiver go down her spine. But then, he too walked away. They even lost Onion.

That was a disaster. Spinel didn't understand how she let her nerves get the best of her. She was used to being watched during her little shows to the diamonds, so what changed? Granted it was usually just to them and the Pearls, people she knew, but something about the announcement just then seemed unnatural and foreign.

The gem's hand dropped and she groaned, visibly deflating and sliding off the soap box. Steven walked over to her with a worried frown on his lips and he looked on at the emptying streets.

"Man, tough crowd. Maybe we should have planned this a little better."

"Ugggghhhhh," Spinel whined from her puddle of embarrassment. It was amusing to see but the brunette still felt for her. It was a little discouraging but it wasn't anything they couldn't handle. Knowing that,   
he smiled at her and offered his hand.

"Hey, cheer up! We'll find another way to get their attention! Maybe some ice cream will get you in gear."

The offer made Spinel reconsider before she reached her hand to the boy, reinflating. Even after standing though her eyes stayed downward with a pout. "It better be extra sweet."

"Only the sweetest for the sweetest!" He winked which just resulted in a flustered Spinel.

With that they headed to the newly built ice cream parlor to rethink their options. Turned out gems really enjoyed ice cream, or at least the ones who chose to live on Earth did. Which made it easy for fellow ice cream connoisseurs like Steven and Spinel. It was a cute little shop adorned in a rainbow of colors and cute cartoon characters stapled across the interior and frankly Spinel had fallen in love with it upon their first visit.

The afternoon was spent just doing that. Enjoying their frozen treats and discussing what methods could work to really get people into it. At some point they considered Lapis having them ride over on the ocean but that idea was quickly disregarded.

A purple blob had popped up behind Spinel all of a sudden, and before Steven could even say anything, Amethyst had jumped out and nearly gave her a gem-attack. Spinel wobbled in her chair with wide eyes before both her friend's laughter made her huff.

"Amethyst!" She whirled back to see the laid back gem laughing her head off.

"Man Spin, ya shoulda seen your face! Never gets old," she wiped a tear from her eye and Steven chuckled with a wave.

"Hey Amethyst! What have you been up to?"

She shrugged and sat at their little green table. "Not much, just been helping Bismuth with some work. Little Homeworld is about to be finished, it's rockin' there!"

"Awesome!" Steven grinned. "I'm sure everyone is gonna love it when it's done! Everyone at Beach City has been working hard to get Little Homeworld fully up and running."

Amethyst shrugged lazily. "It's chill dude! Honestly we would have finished sooner if-" she stopped herself then, catching her words. Spinel noticed it and looked away, hands fiddling in her lap as the tiled floor was the most interesting thing in the room.

"You know it's going to be great. This place is only like, the dream vacay spot!" The purple gem quickly changed the subject but it failed to lift the other's spirit.

The last thing she needed that day was a reminder of the bio poison that wrecked half the town and the pizza cutter mishap too. She still couldn't quite look Bismuth in the eyes even after the sturdy yet kind-hearted gem assured her things were alright. Yeah, it wasn't one of her proudest moments. Steven noticed this and only rested a cheek against his hand, a troubled frown taking the place of his usual smile.

"Once it's done I'm sure everyone would want to see the talent show there. But no one seemed interested," he sighed.

Amethyst leaned forward with her hands snug between her knees. "Oh yeah, Pearl told me about it. I saw the soap box with some tumbleweeds so I figured it was yours."

"Not funny Amethyst!" Steven still couldn't help his chuckle and she sent him a cheeky grin. "Sorry, couldn't help it! You guys are totally going about this all wrong."

Now that caught Spinel's attention and she looked up from her intense stare-off with the floor. "What do you mean?" She asked and scooted closer to the table.

Amethyst laughed and facepalmed, making the two even more confused as they stared on at her like pups chasing their tails.

"You guys can't be serious right? Standing on some box and yelling about the show won't do it. You've gotta give people a sneak peak, show them what to get excited for," she winked and the other two exchanged a glance.

"A sneak peak?" Spinel seemed to be at a loss and Steven tried to put the words together.

Amethyst watched them both with amusement as Steven came around to realizing what she meant. "Wait, you mean like a little pre-show! People could get into it and know what they would be coming to see. But we don't even have any routines planned," he groaned.

Amethyst flicked him in the forehead then. "You don't need to plan it out. Just play to your talents. I think Spinel would be hilarious." Her eyes went to the pink gem who only looked bewildered.

"I don't know, everyone likes Steven though. Look at me!" She pointed to her face with a grimace. "I don't think I'm exactly a good "preview." Her pout made Amethyst snort and she just playfully shoved Spinel. It was surprising how much faith the two had in her as they both stood up.

"All the more reason to do it!" Steven grinned so much Spinel was sure his cheeks hurt. "The whole point of the show is to let everyone have a chance."

Spinel couldn't help her weariness but agreed nonetheless. They would know if they didn't try, at least. "Alright, but what do I do? You saw them earlier, they hardly even looked at us!"

"Then you'll just have to make 'em look," Amethyst chimed in.

The gears began to turn, and ideas formulated like a slow rusted clock learning to tick again. Spinel felt better when excitement started to roll over her as they talked about their next move. Even if it was just them advertising and getting everyone interested, it was still a new game to play. She was a Spinel after all, and her whole job, her very gem thrived on the entertainment of others.

She couldn't help but miss being the cheery self she used to be. The diamonds were ever supportive of her and it took a lot of time to coax out the jokester in her. It started out with just a few puns here and there, as with their first meeting. Yellow and White Diamond were enthralled with the jester and rushed her for mini-performances every chance they had.

Blue had been more sympathetic at first, reassuring the gem to work at her own pace. Many gems would consider it work, really, constantly thinking of new gimmicks and shows for an audience as dazzling as the Diamonds, some would even wither at the thought. It was stressful, demanding, and hard work that focused on creativity.

And it was everything Spinel adored. Work? No, it was fun. It was playtime and every chip made into her paranoia brought her to their current situation-

Spinel standing back on her soap box with Steven and Amethyst dressed in snazzy tuxedos. A small crowd gathered again as she presented a bouquet of flowers out of nowhere.

"Play to your talents" had probably been some of the best advice Amethyst had given her. Just standing and demanding attention would hardly get them anywhere. Steven had to admit he had been careless at first but upon actual preparation, he saw that this was the best choice they could make. The way Spinel's eyes shimmered as she performed another trick that made the citizens around them laugh and snicker had him grinning ear to ear.

Amethyst was evidently enjoying herself as they aided their friend with whatever small act was requested and it worked perfectly. Their jokes brought smiles, and their patience was rewarded as more and more people ended up circling around their little soap box.

Spinel knew she wasn't the best she could be. She knew this wasn't everything, she knew no matter how many times she could twist her body in loops and no matter how many handstands she could do, it wasn't her full potential.

So, in a way, this was the best practice she could get. Sure, she hadn't really performed in front of anyone, or spoken, or moved in 6000 years but she couldn't have gotten so rusty as to disappoint the human eyes she held. So she felt her whole body happily soak in the warmth of the sun as she juggled and tossed up bombs that exploded with glitter.

The shimmering sprinkles from the bombs rained down on all of them, everything sparkling and glistening a multitude of colors like the ocean's reflection at sunrise.

"Can't go out without a bang!" She pointed skywards with her arm stretching out a couple feet above her head. "But don't, worry, we're still up in clouds cuz' there's gonna be another show!" The members of the audience leaned in and whispered excitedly.

"Little Homeworld is up and running, ready for more than just glitter bombs and my jokes! And this time," Spinel looked between Steven and Amethyst then, a small smile played on her lips. "All the people of Beach City are invited to see! Gems, kids, parents and Onions alike, all can come and see bigger and better performances. This was just an appetizer, and main course is under fruition. It's gonna be so peachy the show will be the apple of your eye!"

There was only a pause of silence as the audience blinked at the gem and she waved her hand. "Ok, now you can go bananas."

And everyone cheered, their squeals of praise reverberating through the streets of the city. The sun had begun to set and Spinel watched all their faces soften in the orange and pink hues pouring over them all, just like the pride over her gem. She bowed to everyone and Steven and Amethyst high-fived with laughter peeling from them.

Mission success! Everyone seemed more excited than ever, and Amethyst stuck out her tongue. "So, when's the big show?" She asked and Spinel and Steven froze. Their eyes were like saucers and they realized the next mistake of the day.

Spinel grabbed her pigtails and groaned, body hunched over and she whimpered. "I can't believe we forgot..."

Steven rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish grin on his face and Amethyst was just rolling with laughter. "Guess we got a little carried away again. Amethyst, when's Little Homeworld gonna be ready?"

The purple gem wiped at her eyes and her chortles still hadn't faded. She ran a hand through her hair and swept it back, letting the soft locks splay down her back and brush against the ground.

"Oh boy, you two are such dorks!" It seemed that even after all this time, Steven was still as much a kid as ever even after his later bedtime. "Bismuth mentioned the construction should be about finished like next week. You guys really should have thought this through more."

"I couldn't help it, the donuts distracted me!" Spinel cried out and fell to her knees. The cheering had begun to die down by then, and still the eyes remained on her. She noticed and took a breath before coming to a stand. No, she couldn't just panic in front of everyone. The show doesn't stop, especially when you're on a rinky-dink soap box.

"Well, time drop anchor cuz y'all are a-shore-in to get a great show! The talent of Beach City will be next week, and bring your cameras for some snappy content!" She morphed her hand to be shaped akin to that of a camera and made a clicking noise, ruffling giggles from a few of the people watching.

It was a hefty task. The announcement had been made and with that, everyone had slowly fizzled from around the trio chattering on about what may be at the official show. Spinel had laughed and waved them all goodbye but the moment they were alone she threw herself on the ground, groaning.

Amethyst patted her shoulder and smirked. "Well, looks like we better make sure Little Homeworld is ready. You guys really set the bars." She still couldn't believe Steven overlooked the smaller details. Spinel, sure, since she tended to not think ahead but Steven was usually more thoughtful than that after growing into his own.

Sure enough, the brunette chuckled with the same silly smile he always made. His hair was tussled and mussed from the wind that afternoon and the way his eyes gleamed in that easy-going way made Spinel feel glued to his gaze. "Come on, it'll work out. We just have to work together to make sure it gets done! You ready, Spinel? We'll have to help Bismuth and get the show set up too."

He didn't even falter for a moment. Steven sounded confident and certainly looked the part as well as his smile never once flickered. It was a tall order and Spinel leaned back against the box with a timid smile of her own.

"Like I'd give up anyway. After all, a jester never let's down their audience."

As the sun set that evening the three of them sat together and discussing their plans. What to wear, good choices to have perform, and of course what sort of food would be present. Eventually the conversation was just that of friends joking around and playfully shoving each other. Every day was new and despite their own mistakes, Steven and Spinel both knew it would work out.

Whether it be by musical numbers, tap dancing, or bad fish puns, they were ready to get kraken on whatever fun they planned. Hard work was always apart of it, but so were moments like these. Amethyst laying on the ground and falling asleep with a twitching hand limp against her stomach, and Steven leaned back with Spinel. The sun was ever lower in the sky and a few stars began to flicker and yawn awake.

Sure, it was a little stressful thinking of the scale of the talent show but Steven's hand on hers reassured her they'd work at every piece together.

A challenge wasn't so bad anyway, and jesters could always find the perfect punchline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Spinel are so cute no matter what they're doing. This chapter was mostly used to set up future references and establish more of the relationship between Spinel with Pearl and Amethyst. But don't worry, it's certainly not the last we see of them as they help along the way. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments! <3


	3. First Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first talent show doesn't exactly pan out the way Spinel planned, but a few gems know just what to do to make things better.

Spinel didn't like to be alone, this was a fact. She was clingy, latching to any familiar face. She needed to be with someone, be part of something. There was rarely a moment where one of the gems or Steven would be without the quirky jester, and she hardly could consider herself a solitary stone of, well, solitude.

But right now, she wanted to be alone more than anything.

Her fists clenched and she found herself curled tightly into a ball as she felt the warm tears down her cheeks. Not even the soft blankets atop Steven's bed or the comforting smell of flowers and vanilla that wafted through his room got her crying to stop.

She heard the gems' arguing voices from downstairs, albeit muffled. They stopped trying to knock on the door by now and Steven found himself regretting his choice to have a door built for his small upstairs room.

"What do you mean nobody showed up?" Pearl's voice echoed.

Then Steven. "I-I don't know! We waited and no one showed up. The place was empty. She's crushed.."

"Dude, we've gotta get her to open up soon," Amethyst chimed in. "It is kinda your room."

Spinel grit her teeth and tugged at her pigtails, hating that she heard every word they said. They were talking about her. Talking about how she messed up, how no one showed up. How she waited on that stage, excited nerves pestering her gem. Oh, the grin she had. Steven saw it, he saw the unfiltered glee that stretched her smile up as she fiddled with her outfit she made specifically for the show.

And then just to wait. And wait.

Wait until the stars came out, and no one said anything. Just waited and watched and waited and waited-  
And no one showed up.

They had been planning the show since the day on the soap box, drawing out ideas and stapling posters around every corner of Beach City. Stars, how much had she rattled on to the Diamonds and Pearls about how much she was looking forward to the talent show. They had a whole list of performers, who also failed to even appear.

Why? Why did all the hard work she and Steven put into this show completely fall flat?

She saw the worried looks Steven had given her as the minutes turned to hours. His concern that dripped from his tone as he gently tried to pull her away from the stage. Then the shock in those kind, understanding, forgiving brown eyes of his as she pushed him away and broke down.

Spinel only remembered running away after that, slipping passed the Crystal Gems who tried to ask her what was going on, and locking herself in the only place she could think of at the time: Steven's room.

She just wanted to think and cry to herself but hearing them all talking really wasn't helping. Amethyst suggested busting through the window but Steven and Garnet didn't think that was a good idea. Pearl only wanted her to come back out, to talk to them, but Garnet was trying to give her the space she so desperately wanted.

"Spinel is upset," the fusion spoke with a soft voice. "We should give her some time. She'll come out when she's ready, and then we can talk. Amethyst, you are not breaking the door down with a guitar."

"Oh come on! I was just gonna serenade her. After I broke it down."

Their conversation just grew more hushed and Spinel released another sob. She buried her face deeper into her knees and gripped at the bedsheets. She hated this so much. She just wanted to go back to Homeworld and forget about this. Who was she to think that anyone would actually want to go along with her stupid idea? Her stupid, pointless, naive, foolish idea.

Bring all the gems and humans together just for a night to laugh and play?

Maybe Steven led her on. Maybe he knew it wouldn't pan out and just wanted to see her wait, stand there under the stars and hope someone would show up and laugh and be proud of her because she waited for them and-

She growled and pulled at her hair again. The tears stung. Her gem hurt. Everything was hurting and she let out a miserable whine. Then a soft knock came from the door, Steven's pensive voice following.

"Spinel?" Oh, he sounded so worried it hurt more than anything else.

"Spinel, please open the door. Can we just talk? I know my room is cool and all, I'd rather enjoy it with you," he laughed weakly. There was a pause and he feared she'd just ignore him like their earlier attempts.

It had already been four hours though, and he was really exhausted now. But he had just finished discussing some things with the gems, and honestly hoped he'd manage to get through to her. He needed to show her the show wasn't a total bust, and that her tears didn't need to stay. Plus, he was still worried if they didn't check on her soon that the gem would have run off and gotten into trouble one way or another.

These days still happened despite being few and far between. Spinel would still have days like this where she'd lock herself in whatever vacant room she could find and they'd find her muttering to herself with fat tears dripping down her cheeks. By now, the gems hoped they'd know how to help her cope and deal with things better, but Steven knew they didn't understand. Probably never would considering her circumstances.

And then there was a faint click of the lock, and he felt relief wash over him. Steven took hold of the knob, but not before speaking. "Thank you. I'm coming in, ok?" And then he opened the door just a crack. The brunette slowly pushed it further open and slid himself into the room.

He saw her crumpled form on his bed and sighed. It always broke the boy's heart, seeing her like this. Once upon a time, seeing her upset would only fill him with anxiety, worried she'd lash out as such with their first meeting. But now, now he knew she wouldn't and seeing the smaller gem upset like this was only pitiful to lay eyes on. 

He shut the door behind him and approached with careful steps. "Spinel, I-"

"-was it really so stupid?" She cut in. Her face was turned away so she could stare out the window and her pigtails were drooped. The moon was out, half crescent and dim through the pane. "I thought it was a good idea. I thought everyone was excited. And then-" she sighed. "Then no one even came."

"No! No, it wasn't stupid." Steven held his hands out as he rushed out his reply. "Spinel, we both wanted to do this. Something must have happened, there's no way no one wanted to come. I'd never just let you stand there if I didn't want to wait too." He hoped some of his words could get through to her. At the very least Steven wanted the gem to look at him. She never could look at him when she was upset. The guilt was always there in some small way.

And Spinel didn't look at him. She only hugged herself tighter and sniffled. "Then why? I just wanted everyone to have fun."

His expression softened and Steven let himself sit on the bed. He looked down to his hands and observed them with new interest as he planned out his next words. "They will. Maybe the talent show didn't work out, but that just means we'll find another way to bring everyone together. But you know who did have fun?"

Then Spinel risked a small glance at Steven and felt her cheeks heat up when she was met with a sincere smile.

"Who?"

"Us. Me, you, Amethyst- we all had a great time getting this show planned. I'm glad we did it, it got me more time to hang out with you!" He leaned back on his hands and grinned.

She sat there, at a loss of what to say. Steven didn't regret this? He just wanted to spend time with her?

"And, you know who really wants to see the show still?"

Now her attention was fully on him and Spinel found herself uncurling and wiping at her cheeks. "...who?"

Steven offered her his hand to which she took with a weary face. He only tugged her from the bed and led the gem from his room. Her shoes gave soft, woeful squeaks as they walked and Spinel desperately tried to wipe the rest of her tears away. Just what was Steven doing? No one wanted to see the show, no one was interested, no one showed up-

Her jaw slackened after they finished descending the stairs. Smack dab in the living room by the couch was a makeshift stage made from various tables around the temple and a few chairs were set out. Balloons and streamers decorated the room with all different colors and Spinel found herself speechless.

Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl stood to the side, each with hopeful smiles on their faces. Well, more-so smirking with the way Amethyst flipped her hair from her shoulder, but regardless they all had their attention directed to the duo.

"What.. Is this?" She rasped.

"Well, we felt bad the talent show didn't work out. So," Pearl motioned at the tables. "We decided to have one here. We know how hard you've been working for this."

Amethyst had her hands on her hips and grinned cheekily. She seemed very proud of herself but Steven could hear the vague trace of worry when she chimed in. "Yeah dude! You and Steven are a riot. Just 'cuz no one else wanted to see it doesn't mean we didn't!"

Garnet was the last to speak who only nodded at Spinel. "We can be your audience, if you'll let us."

There was a pause. Spinel couldn't find her voice and her lips wobbled.

Then the tears rushed out full force. Her shoulders shook and the pink gem furiously wiped at her cheeks when everyone had hurried to her with concerned looks.

"Oh no, we broke her!"  
"Look what you did Amethyst, I told you it was too soon!"  
"Did you have any better ideas, Pearl? At least I wasn't going to give her the petal talk about strengths and weaknesses!"  
"It's an educational experience!"

Amethyst and Pearl halted their bickering when they heard a small laugh. They looked down and saw Spinel with a toothy smile with her cheeks flushed, and she giggled.

"You guys are so goofy-!" Her voice croaked out and she sniffled. The pink gem looked around at everyone and her shoulders dropped with a little sigh. "Ya really wanna see the show still?"

Garnet placed a gentle hand to her shoulder and the smile she offered was nothing but soft and warm. "Of course we do. You worked hard, and we want to support you."

Steven chimed in with his own agreement and led her slowly over to the small stage. "Yeah! It's what friends do."

Spinel was hesitant as she let him lead her away and the gems had all settled down in the set up chairs. Expectant but patient looks were directed at her and Spinel was almost speechless for the moment when she set foot on the tables. Steven sent a thumbs up before seating himself by Amethyst who nudged him with a grin.

It was just a few of them. Just the Crystal Gems, and Steven who looked more hopeful than ever. They were right there, waiting to see her performance and Spinel could feel the excitement worming it's way through her gem again. She was right there, right then, and as she opened her mouth to speak, everything fell into place.

And oh, how they laughed. First was Amethyst and Steven who cackled at the little starting quips. Garnet watched and Spinel assumed she was enjoying herself after she was given a quiet grin. Then Pearl would chuckle behind her hand, eyes turning up with amusement before she too, was laughing.

Spinel swelled with joy as she ditched the puns and switched to her tricks. Juggling various items (even Amethyst after she threw herself right into the fray) and doing a comedy skit her and Steven brewed up themselves. She spun and she danced, her headstands making them all watch with awe, especially when she even juggled a couple plates with her feet. How it was possible, they had no idea.

The nerves melted away just as quickly as they had come with everyone taking part at some point within the show. Pearl was invited on stage to sing and twirl her spear with gusto, Garnet even had come on to dance along with Spinel during a song Steven played to his ukulele.

The hours passed without any notice or complaint, and by the time things were winding down, Spinel was out of breath. Another full round of laughter had ended after Amethyst finished her impressions of all the gems and things were content.

"That was an amazing show!" Pearl leaned back in her chair. She was wiping at her eye when Amethyst hopped down to sit on the edge of the stage.

"Yeah, Spin! You totally rocked it!"

"Very well done," Garnet nodded.

Then Steven was once again at her side and pat her back, making the gem even more flustered as she hid behind her hands. "See? We all had a great time, we didn't need the big show to have fun!"

His words rang true and Spinel's smile only stretched further on her face. Her cheeks were dusted a darker shade of red when she peeked through her fingers at everyone. Steven was right. He always was, huh? Things still went great, and everyone still wanted to see her happy.

Friends really were a nice thing.

As they all talked and pointed out their favorite bits of the show, Garnet had been gazing over a sheet of paper she had gotten seemingly out of nowhere. A sly smirk settled on her face and she turned to the others. "I think you may wanna take a look at this."

Pearl yanked the poster from her and squinted, blue eyes darting back and forth across the parchment before they widened. "Erm... Who made the flyers for the show?"

Steven tilted his hand and raised his hand. "Me, why?"

Pearl turned the paper around, mouth a firm line and they peered over to read the writing.

'Little Homeworld Talent Show: Share your brightest gifts and be a star! Starts: 7:00 pm to 12 am, August 4th. Humans and gems invited!!'

Amethyst snorted, shoulders shaking before she erupted in full force laughter. "Dude!" She slapped her knee and fell back. "You guys had the wrong date! That's still like a day away!"

Spinel and Steven exchanged a look and Steven's cheeks went full red as the realization sunk in.

"What?!" He held his head and snatched the poster from Pearl to re-read it. Spinel looked over his shoulder and Steven smacked his forehead. "Are you kidding me? I thought I put the right day, no way!"

Garnet's chuckle wasn't unnoticed as she stepped behind them, ruffling both Spinel and Steven's hair. "Looks like you still have a show after all."

Spinel was flabbergasted when it hit her. So.. No one was there, because there was no show to be at! They were ready on the wrong day, they still had a chance!

She didn't even notice herself bouncing on her heels, or the way her pupils turned to stars. She was quaking again, but with the eagerness to continue the show. Everyone would be there, everything was gonna be great! It wasn't all for nothing, people would be there after all and- and-

Then Pearl posed her next question and Spinel paused. "That's going to be really soon after this show. Are you prepared for an encore?"

To which Spinel only shrugged. A smile played at her lips and she rolled her eyes. "Eh, I think I'll be fine. The show must always go on, right?"

And that was the truth.  
The nervousness and sinking of her stomach, the bitterness and hesitation had vanished in that moment.

She was a jester, after all, and the show never really did end. This was what she was meant to do, and what she loved. Another performance in less than 24 hours?

Yeah, she could handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lil' sweet chapter abound! Hope you guys liked this one, figured it was a good continuation of the last chapter. Plus we got to see a bit more of a glimpse of Spinel's interaction with the gems. More is to come, and requests are always welcome!


	4. Work Before Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little tidbit of Spinel adjusting to being around Little Homeworld and more specifically- Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot. Figured she'd have some trouble getting used to being around people other than the people she's attached to.  
Also as I typed this I realized Lapis would be a good source of advice for Spinel. She'd be honest and direct, but also know how to sympathize and reach out in more productive ways. I'll probably have more in depth interactions for them soon enough!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, apologies for the late chapter!  
Here's how the timeline of events went:  
Got food poisoning, had my phone get run over, and then the chapter I was originally working on and going to post was deleted so this came instead :')  
Multiple chapters are currently in the works though, so a potential multi-update will probably get plopped down soon.  
Hope u enjoy this chapter since I'm worried it seems rushed aahhh-

"Hey, Spinel! Would you mind moving those barrels to the side of the outer framing there?" Bismuth's arms were already clutched tight to a heap of piping and stone boarding and huffed towards their latest project.

Spinel, unexpecting of the sudden request, jumped out of her daydreams and immediately complied. As she'd quickly learned, her stretchy limbs were a massive help to the construction of Little Homeworld. She could easily pick up and move anything they needed to just about any place around the growing town and Bismuth was quick to seek her help with constructing a new subsection for the latest arrivals from Homeworld.

Really she hadn't seen this coming. Spinel knew she needed to work on her socialization, it was the whole reason she was out under the scorching afternoon heat rather than playing a good game of hide and seek with the Pearls. Her trips to Earth had been few at this point, just quick visits here and there and gradually exploring more of what Beach City had to offer.

Steven was right, though. As the gem squeaked through her weaving passed the many colorful residents she realized just how foreign it all was. She didn't know a single soul here, save for Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot. And to be frank, they weren't exactly the best of chums just yet.

The barrels were set gently to the ground one after the other and she bit at her lip. The day had been long, with little play and more work. This wasn't exactly her idea of fun, but Spinel couldn't complain. Especially after thinking back to the scaffolding incident (even after Bismuth reassured the nervous gem that it had all been a simple fix). She wanted to help out, wanted to make her friends, make Steven, happy.

She hardly even got a look around to find Bismuth when little green clad feet plopped themselves atop the barrels. Peridot held a wide grin to her face and hoisted her ever-present tablet in the air, and Spinel noticed the quick glances between both the tablet and herself.

"Perfect! You've really helped move progress along the new subdivision, Spinel!" Peridot scrolled through whatever information the device contained and tapped her foot. Spinel's cheeks flushed and she looked away with her hand held to the back of her neck.

The praise was a welcome remark, made known by the bashful tug of her lips. "Awe, gee, it's nothin-"

"It's surprising how helpful you've been after nearly tearing the planet apart!"

The statement immediately made Spinel's hand and shoulders drop. Peridot didn't seem the least phased and just continued toggling through her screen. Yes, she knew by now that Peridot often made underhanded comments without meaning to. But that didn't mean the little quips weren't hurtful. The last thing she wanted to remember was the bio poison that had ripped through the Earth's crust and almost flooded the entirety of the coastal city.

No, she didn't want to remember that. Or the fear plastered over everyone's faces as they stared up at the looming injector while Spinel remained entirely ignorant of the danger. The danger that killed everything it touched, rotted every soft petal of every flower, wilted every blade of grass and melted through Steven's jacket. That made him bleed, her actions that made him cry and-

"Wow, way to be subtle Peridot." Now there was three of them around the small pile of equipment. Lapis landed by Spinel's side, the water of her wings glistening from the sun high up above them. Spinel hardly had a glimpse at her reflection in the wavering currents before they were gone and she took a hesitant step back.

Lapis' tone carried no malice or real chiding to it and she offered the shorter gem an easygoing smile. She wasn't deterred from Spinel's abrupt movement in the least. "You've been doing pretty good, actually."

"I never said she wasn't!" Peridot cut in and rolled her eyes. "I was just pointing out that her current aid is a whole lot more beneficial to everyone than when we first met."

"I think you've still gotta find the book on 'reading the atmosphere,'" Lapis chuckled. Peridot just grabbed onto her tablet and practically shoved it into their faces.

"I know plenty on reading the atmosphere, actually, and I can easily tell you about the current status of the Earth's precise oxygen and carbon inputs at this very moment!"

Her fiery retort was cut short from Lapis' snort and she shook her head. Peridot was hopeless, sometimes. "Yeah, type me an essay about it. I'd love to hear more," she said offhandedly before focusing on Spinel who up to that point had been halfway hugging herself and listening to their banter.

"Hey," her voice was soft. "You ok? You've been a little quiet."

Spinel's pink eyes flickered up to her own blue pools and swallowed. "Oh, yeah, I'm uh- I'm peachy!" She rushed out a giggle and smile that didn't exactly instill confidence in Lapis.

"Do you even know what a peach is?" She smirked. It was supposed to be a little joke, a way to get the obviously tense gem to loosen up around her. Spinel was safe here, and Lapis wanted to help her feel more welcome. Steven trusted them to help her, after all. And, she may or may not admit it, but Lapis could see an all too familiar flicker of herself in the little jester.

But Spinel only heard a snide remark. A crude reminder that she wasn't an experienced member of Earth as they all were, and her gem for that moment stung. Her fists loosely balled and Spinel's frown twitched. "I do-!"

She didn't even get to finish before Peridot interjected once again. "Yes, yes, it's fuzzy and weird. But we're not done with construction yet!" She flailed her arms about and Lapis had an unimpressed look. "We're still only 72.3214% of the way through this section, I can't even round that to 73!"

The blue gem just put her hands to her hips and smiled, again, at Spinel who was only confused. "Well, you wanna help us get to 73? And maybe after I can show you something fuzzy and sweet I think you'd like."

This caught her attention. The words were simple. Lapis wanted her help and promised something of interest in exchange. Was that all this was? An exchange of mutual interests? Benefit for benefit? But it sounded promising. And the way Lapis smiled at her, so soft and patient made Spinel nearly shiver. It was the sort of smile Steven would give her, and Garnet and Pearl. Something comforting.

"Sounds sweet to me-!" Spinel tried her best to smile back at them. "I'll help! Shucks, I'd bend over backwards and tap for you if it'd help!" She quickly demonstrated without much thought. Her body bent back and her pigtails drooped against the ground, her neck craning around one arm to emphasize, boots lightly tapping into the soft earth below her and Lapis laughed.

Peridot shielded her eyes with a grimace. "How that could ever help sounds like a bit of a stretch to me-" her unknowing joke just made the two snicker and Spinel spun herself back up to standing. Peridot was blunt, and it took getting used to. But Spinel could appreciate that, and she knew that her and Amethyst were pals, which somehow put her at ease. If Amethyst liked her, then Spinel hoped a friend could be made in her too.

Lapis was, well, a bit of an enigma. She had lasting energy and a sort of relaxed demeanor that soothed Spinel. But she saw something, the way her eyes would glaze over in a faraway look towards the ocean. How tired she sometimes looked, and how her own outright words could sting more than even Peridot's. But Spinel was intrigued to say the least, especially when Steven had been adamant that the two of them specifically would get along great.

And she realized more as the afternoon passed that he was right. Steven was always right. The three of them went right back to work, Spinel and Lapis doing a tremendous job with moving things and repositioning framework. Peridot was enthusiastic about their speedy work and wouldn't hesitate to tell them whatever needed to be completed next. Lapis would joke and gripe to their green friend who would only argue back with more vigor than before. But it was all playful, full of joy that Spinel would be left wordless when watching.

They were friends. There was never a trace of true complaint, and the two of them would chatter on about various topics as Lapis helped her place down some furniture as per request of some of the citizens. Spinel wanted to join in, jest with them and impress the two with her long list of puns and tricks.

She really wanted to. But every time there came an opportunity, her mouth clamped shut and Spinel felt an odd sensation in her gem that made her want to curl away and dart to the nearest warp pad.

They passed so many gems. There were smiles all around from both new and old visitors and not a single comment was made towards the pink member of the trio. No disgusted glances or hushed insults that she'd pretend to not notice. And every time someone would chime in with a gentle laugh or offer her a wave and cheer of encouragement as they worked, Spinel wilted a little more.

Lapis had made a few attempts to get Spinel to brighten up yet none were successful. The labor hadn't been too demanding, and Spinel didn't tire easily. She was made for long-standing games after all! But when she'd grin and ask the other for her input, or try to include her in the lighthearted conversations, she'd only flash a smile and reply with short responses. It was off.

Peridot hadn't noticed and just continued rambling on about the newest side-series of Camp Pining Hearts, but Lapis saw it. This wasn't the same as when Steven had been around, or when they had just been enjoying a small outing in an enclosed area. At the moment, they were all situated around Ocean Jasper's home and just finished up helping her fix up some power source issues running through the building. Spinel had herself a bit further from Peridot and Lapis, and looked lost in thought as her boot lightly traced the ground.

Then the friendly face of their local blacksmith appeared. Bismuth rushed towards them and clapped her large hands and Spinel carefully held back her wince. She was much taller than them, and it was clear she'd easily take Spinel down in terms of strength. Bismuth was always someone Spinel felt most on-edge around only from the irrevocable fear she'd do something to anger the usually upbeat gem.

But her grin hadn't wavered for a moment once she arrived. "Alright, word spread that you three have been doing too good. A little more and you'll be my top construction team!" She reached an arm around Lapis and hugged her tight to her side.

Lapis raised a brow with a teasing look. "We're pretty much your only construction crew."

"Hey," Bismuth playfully ruffled her hair, "anymore talk like that and I'll have you guys working off the clock!"

"We're not working on clocks," Peridot scrunched her face. "We're building a whole city, Bismuth!"

And there it was again. Spinel shrunk in a little more on herself.

She felt small.

Homesickness struck her like a scythe. Their closeness was something that made Spinel want to shrink away. What was it that they called it, a family? It sure seemed that way from how Bismuth lightly poked at Peridot who hissed, only making them laugh even more. It was like the Diamonds. Spinel hadn't been with them long at this point, but she already missed the familiar halls and pristine decor of the palace. And the hearty giggles too, whether it was from a small prank on Yellow or a round of tag with the Pearls.

The trio by her were all joking with lighthearted arguments flowing from their lips, but the twinkle in their eyes all shone true. They weren't worried or high-strung as she currently felt. Their shoulders weren't tense with anxiety and Spinel had to force herself to take a couple of breaths. It didn't make sense. Why couldn't she feel like them? How were they smiling so easily?

There weren't any games, there wasn't any play or reason to be so relaxed around Spinel of all gems. They were working, construction that could have been finished even sooner had they not had to fix her mistakes. But she was right there, standing amidst the hustle of gems who looked just like her.

Bismuth noticed Spinel who's arms had curled up around her body a few times over and cocked her head to the side. "Hey Spinel, what's the long face for? Come on, we've just gotta finish a couple more things before we can take a good breather!"

No, no she didn't want to work on anything more. The day had been taxing in all aspects and the exhaustion began seeping into her mind and taking route of her haphazard train of thought. She wanted to be back home. On Homeworld. She wanted to play with the Pearls and run around and curl up in the soft long strands that was Blue Diamond's hair. She glanced up and her eyes drifted between the three gems who were looking right at her.

Spinel's throat tightened.

She didn't know them. They weren't her friends. They were just gems who she hurt. Gems who were Steven's friends, not her own. Why was she here again? Why was she helping?

Helping make amends, was that all? But could anything really make it better?

Why were they looking at her? Stars, their focus was definitely on Spinel now. Peridot looked mildly irked, Lapis just had a brow quirked up and Bismuth had her hand up in a calming gesture. The movement resulted in another feeling bubble up, rising anxiety and distrust. Fear that she wasn't going to be enough or do enough to ever right the wrongs she committed.

Quick breaths. Darting eyes. Staggering steps back and her gloved fingers digging into her sides as the wound-up hug tightened. Steven wanted her here. Steven just wanted her to be here not to feel better and make some pals, but to force her into knowing how badly she messed up. Show her she'd never be able to giggle and jest with these gems who were so clearly close. Once the work was done, she'd be sent off and ignored again, that was all that would happen.

Her gem panged with a dull series of pain and her face contorted. To what? Fear? Betrayal, self-loathing? Overall hesitation that curled her toes and flattened her pigtails?

Bismuth was the first to act. Her gaze was that of a parent hoping to calm their frightened child and she took a couple of slow steps forward.

"Spinel?" She uttered. "Hey, it's alright. If you're tired we can take a break. We can even get some donuts, Steven said-"

Steven what? What did Steven say? Her eyes widened and Spinel backtracked.

What was she going to say? Pretend Steven was there for her benefit, to try and convince Spinel to play along to whatever they wanted her to do? But he wasn't there. He was busy. Busy without her, busy and trying to get the gem to feel the gravity of her actions.

"Steven isn't here-!" She blurted out. Her feet kicked at the dirt and Spinel whirrled around. There was a rush of dizziness that choked her vision, and her legs quaked when she rushed away. Steven wasn't there. Steven wasn't there. The Diamonds weren't there, the Pearls weren't, Amethyst wasn't, no one was there.

There wasn't anything safe to cling to, no anchor and Spinel's eyes stung with warm tears. She hardly heard Bismuth's calls for her as she lost herself to the muddled crowd of gems. So many colors, so many faces that she shoved passed.

She didn't know any of them.

Blurred faces of people that Spinel vaguely saw her own crumpled visage in but was entirely unaware. Just strangers, familiar strangers that barely spared the frazzled jester a second glance. She didn't even know where she was headed, there was just rainbows and faces and the panicked thudding of her steps. That was all she heard. Thudding, thudding, thudding and muffled comversations she hurried passed that all mixed together in the melting pot that was her panicked mind.

Escape, get away, find someone safe. Find someone good, something to turn to. Steven was gone, helping Connie study for her latest exams. The warp pad was somewhere, but she couldn't tell where. Little Homeworld was still a confusing shamble to her and Spinel was never the best with directions. She just needed to be away.

Why did it hurt so much to see them happy? Lapis even tried to make her feel apart of it all, Bismuth reached out to her, and Spinel only ran. She ran and she ran and wouldn't slow in her pounding steps. It was all changing so quickly.

First, the garden.

Then, a few glimpses of Earth and the permanent rooming on Homeworld and a blossoming family to turn to.

But then strangers. Little Homeworld, Beach City, both a sea of crushing memories and realizations of what she could have had. Spinel could have been apart of this and be part of their happy family too, cheering them all on. And now, she felt like a real clown to her own kind.

By the time she slowed she was on the outskirts of Little Homeworld. Her breathing was ragged and she gulped down breaths of air, knees buckling and crumpling to the ground. Spinel grabbed at her pigtails and watched her tears drop with blurred vision. They sunk into the soil under between her feet and she sniffled.

Crying was the worst. It hurt, and she couldn't see as well, and her emotions wavered and wobbled like a massive jenga tower; ready to topple at the slightest prod. Her chest heaved and Spinel tugged more at her hair. Why was she upset like this? It was a whole amalgamation of stress and she needed to remember her outlets.

Right, right, practice what Garnet taught her. Breathe in, breathe out, slowly. No one was around her and it was relatively quiet aside from the voices of those who were out roaming the streets behind her. She huddled herself against the wall of the building she ended up at and rested her head against her knees.

She wanted to try, she really did. Steven trusted her. Why, she didn't understand, but the fact remained it was her job to uphold that trust. But this was too much at once, it was overwhelming and Spinel couldn't keep up with the sudden turn of friendly attitudes.

It didn't make any sense. Peridot outright acknowledged their first meeting and her previously sinister intentions, yet it didn't phase them in the least. "Water under the bridge" as Bismuth had phrased it once. But Spinel didn't know them as well as Steven. She barely even knew Steven either. They were obviously capable, and seemed less forgiving and open as the young hybrid. He dropped everything to try and help her after the injector situation was settled. When the Diamonds didn't know what to do, when she was falling into old habits (not to say she still didn't), he always tried to pull her back from the spiral of grief.

Spinel, unwittingly, had become attached to Steven and the original Crystal Gems. She loved them, she loved the Diamonds, she loved the Pearls. They all had patience that she couldn't ever comprehend, and she just growled a low noise just thinking of why on Homeworld they would even want to do anything for her. Why Spinel, of all gems?

Try to destroy the entire planet, try to kill their friend multiple times, and then just headed off without so much as a warning? And suddenly, Bismuth and Lapis and Peridot held their arms open for her. Everyone did. It just didn't make sense.

The tears stung and flooded from her eyes even more. What a miserable, stupid situation to plop herself in.

"You just gonna sulk all day?" Her head shot up, pigtails puffed at alert to see Lapis standing just a couple of feet away. Her expression was neutral, if not a tad worried for the queasy gem on the ground.

Spinel opened her mouth, but no words came out. Only a garbled noise and she just covered her eyes coupled with an attempt to even her breathing.

She must have looked pitiful. Just sitting alone, crying to herself and hoping to remain unseen. Which, evidently enough, wasn't on Lapis' to-do list of things to deal with.

But Lapis didn't speak, only watching Spinel collect herself. She took another shuddering breath and averted her gaze. "I.. Didn't mean to run off." That was all she could mumble out. Her face burnt with the flames of embarrassment licking at her nose and cheeks and deepening the pink hue of her skin.

"Then why did you?" She asked simply. Her arms crossed and her stare wasn't piercing nor easygoing. Spinel fought down an uncomfortable shudder.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled and wiped her nose. "I just… want to go back home."

Lapis understood she meant Homeworld and her frown deepened. That didn't sound good, why was she so upset and then wanted to bolt from Earth? Lapis had to choose her words carefully, she knew this. Steven updated them on Spinel's patterns of thoughts and how certain things would set her off. But then again, she also knew this was no time to coddle the other.

"Why do you want to go back? Was it something we did? You know Bismuth and Peridot are worried about you," she said. Spinel's lips wobbled for a moment and she shook her head.

Words poured out faster than she could process them. Was Lapis just toying with her or had they actually been concerned?

"Why? Why are they worried? You guys and Steven and- and all of you! You're all ok with me, helping rebuild what I almost ruined? Is that all I'm here for? You wanna have me fix stuff up and then I'll be outta your hair again?" Her face fell and a scornful expression crossed her face, teeth barred. "I don't know you. I barely know Steven, and you're all talkin' like I'm one of you!"

Lapis only stood quietly, listening to Spinel ramble out her thoughts. Her anger seeped through the bristled strands of her hair and Spinel dug her fingers into the ground. Dirt pooled around her fingers and she tugged with the blades of grass around her being ripped up.

"You shouldn't be worried about me!" The smaller gem cried. "You don't have to worry! Just let me go and leave a-and you'd never have to worry about me makin' a mess of things again!"

She slammed an open palm into her forehead, dirt crumpling out from her gloves and down her cheeks. They mixed in with her salty tears and blended with the streaks down her face and her breathing hastened once more.

Lapis wasn't having any of that. She kneeled down right in front of her quivering form and propped her elbows up on her knees. "You're right." Lapis stated. Spinel whimpered and shielded her face. Her hands clawed into her skin and her gem ached.

Blunt. Just like Peridot. At least Spinel knew them enough to rely on their brutal honesty. What would they do then? Let Spinel run back to Homeworld and shut herself away? What would Steven say? He'd be disappointed and want her to never come back and apologize to everyone for even trying to share her ugly presence with the beautiful planet they walked upon.

Pink didn't want her here, so why would anyone else?

But then the next words Spinel heard made the racing thoughts halt for a moment. She felt the cool clasp of Lapis' gentle hands on her own and her grasp was pried away from her self-inflicted pain.

Lapis looked straight at her. Blue irises met her glossy pink ones, resolution clashing with hesitation.

"We don't have to care. Honestly, we didn't have to let Steven take you here. The Crystal Gems didn't have to let you stroll around and leave you unbubbled. We don't have to do anything for you."

Harsh, agonizing honesty.

"But," her grip on Spinel tightened ever just slightly. It wasn't in a way to inflict pain or send a warning, but as a soothing action to keep the other grounded. "We want to. We chose to worry, and we chose to let you stick around. No one had to give me another chance when I stole the ocean." A small smile was offered and Spinel's brows furrowed. There that distant look was again and she knew there was more to the story that Lapis hadn't quite mentioned to her.

"I didn't deserve a second chance. That's what I told myself. I ran away everytime Steven wanted to help me, I even hid on the moon. I didn't think there was anything for me, and everything changed too quickly."

Spinel was silent save for the few hiccups that escaped from her prior tear-fest and Lapis lifted a hand to wipe away some of the dirt staining her face. "I was terrified of change. I don't know what happened, and you don't have to tell me. But I see it on your face- there's so much changing around you. You don't know us, but-" Lapis grinned. Her lax attitude had returned just like that and she even winked that resulted in a flustered Spinel.

"We wanna know you. You're not just here to help us with work, and we want to have fun with you. Everyone here is pretty chill about the whole world-destroying thing, we've all kinda been there."

The words took a moment too long to sink in. Not for a single instance did Lapis portray any hatred, or disgust. She was willingly interacting with Spinel, even offering advice. Holding her hands, wiping her tears; it almost fried Spinel's gem right there. Her shoulders dropped and she allowed her arms to slacken against the ground.

"I tried to hurt Steven. You're friend-"

"- he's your friend now too, yknow. Whether you like it or not," Lapis chuckled. "You've pretty much passed initiation here, and he cares a lot about you. He cares about all of us, no matter what we did."

Spinel's eyes flickered to the torn up soil before focusing back on Lapis. Her loose beach-styled pants swayed ever so slightly from the breeze brushing passed them and shifted away. She pulled her hands back and stood up straight. After a quick pat-down over her pants, she reached out her hand to Spinel. She smiled. Just like Steven.

Spinel decided that was familiar enough.

Her hand raised and she paused. Hesitating, still. Something about how Lapis spoke made Spinel want to trust her words. Believe them. Maybe she was right, and she was worthy of forgiveness. But the guilt gnawed on her, cutting through her nerves like the pizza-cutter in her rejuvenated haze.

"And you know," Lapis added one last bit in. "I know you want to try, so we're trying for you. This stuff takes time so you don't have to try and act like you're passed everything."

It was the truth. There was no room for argument in her flat tone. No way to object, no but's.

So their hands touched, at first a light graze of her fingers against Lapis' own blue grasp, before their hands were entwined. Lapis helped to pull the other up and Spinel kept her face downcast.

"I'm sorry," Spinel mumbled.

Lapis shrugged. "I know. You should tell that to Peridot and Bismuth though, they've been looking all over."

And just as she said that, distant shouts could be heard not too far from the duo. Spinel looked up and the tears nearly crashed into her again. Something warm bloomed in her chest when she only saw blinding smiles. Bismuth and Peridot stood by each other, waving their arms with toothy grins.

Amethyst and Steven were both next to them as well and she almost did a double-take. Even Steven was back? Had he come back just to check on her and say hello? Something about the look on his face confirmed the small voice of hope. Amethyst snorted and nudged Steven, to which the boy only huffed before calling to Spinel with relieved eyes.

"Spinel!" He called out. "We've been looking for you! Are you guys ok?" The sun was beginning to set behind them, framing his concerned frown with soft oranges and pinks. It was always around this time of day that Spinel felt the coils of her fear loosen, even just a bit. The changing shades of the sky somehow brought ease and the swiftly shifting colors of the town they stood by seemed a little more bearable.

As the group made their way over to the two gems, Spinel felt her hand tighten around Lapis'. She was in awe, unknowing of the look she was being sent. Steven and Amethyst were there. Two friends, two familiar faces. Two threads of her safety quilt.

Then a very welcome idea was proposed. "Hey, how do those donuts sound?" Lapis asked her, voice quiet and reassuring.

There was a glance that bounced between each of them, and Spinel's lips curled up. She wiped again at the budding tears and giggled. The hard work of the day had been completed, and now it was time to play.

"Yeah, donuts sound nice."

And maybe, between Bismuth's constant encouragement, Peridot's excited rambling, and Lapis' honesty, Spinel could find a few more friends to spare in her upside down heart. A few more threads to the quilt couldn't hurt, right?

Then Lapis turned again and stopped, tugging Spinel back from her pace. "Oh, almost forgot-" Lapis looked away and tried to find a way to phrase the next words. "I know this stuff is tough. Really tough. And adjusting is hard, so I thought maybe having a bit of Earth with you back on Homeworld might help. So here's that fuzzy sweet thing."

Her gem glowed and a flash of light pooled into Lapis' hands that she brought back to her body. Spinel eyed it curiously and carefully leaned closer, but not too close as to break any personal bubbles. Another thing she had to learn about; not just her own, but everyone else's boundaries as well.

The shape remained an odd white, pale blue glow before fading out and Spinel's eyes sparkled into stars. In the light's place rested a pale blue bunny. A ribbon was tied around its neck with dark blue and white polka dots across it; the cutest detail she spotted being the little black heart-shaped nose.

"It's.. for me? Honest?" She cupped her cheeks and gazed adoringly at the soft blush and Lapis held it out to her.

"I'm not much of a toy kinda person, so it's all yours. I thought you'd like it," she bit back laughter when Spinel swiped the toy close to her. The gem happily clung to the stuffed animal and nuzzled into it. Well, looks like Lapis did a good job there.

"Thank you-!" She sputtered with a face-cracking smile. Spinel held tight to the bunny and the nerves officially melted away. It may not have been neither a gem nor organic, but the hug they shared was comforting nonetheless. And even better, it was a gift. An actual gift, chosen just for Spinel.

That made it all the more special.

The grin she flashed at everyone when they all gathered around her was cheeky as could be, and Spinel knew her safety quilt was far from being finished.


End file.
